More Effective Than Alarm Clocks

Based on a True Story

Today, the House of Goose had a rough morning. Last night, the Goose decided to come down with a cold and hit the sack early. The Missus had an appointment this morning that would allow her to sleep in by an hour, and we went to bed early enough that we would have actually gotten the recommended-but-never-realized eight full hours of sleep. At five in the morning, however, I thought the alarm clock was going off all over the house all at once. Did I say alarm clock? I think I meant screaming banshee from Hell’s Maw. 

It was a smoke detector!! 

All the smoke detectors in our home are linked, so if one goes off, they all start going off sequentially. Oddly enough, they’re each about half a tone off from each other. I’m pretty sure they use mixed off-tones and volumes like that at Gitmo.

“Geez, Dave,” you might say, “did you just link to torture methods at Guantanamo? This blog is getting dark.”

Well, gentle reader, it is what it is. And this particular smoke detector was, as the above picture suggests, in the Goose’s room. Image based on a true story!

At least it isn’t Van Halen played by Darth Vader in 1955.

The Goose was screaming about how the noise was hurting her, and m head was right in it trying to get the blankety-blank smoke detector off the ceiling, which requires two hands and no ability to cover one’s ears. The Missus took the Goose to our bed, and there she waited until Daddy got the razzafrazzin’ smoke detector to hush. I put in a new battery, and blew out dust with compressed air, and reset the thing, and it still went off every couple minutes even though it wasn’t plugged in. 

Le sigh.

So instead of working, I’m home today with the Goose while she gets her rest, and maybe I’ll get some too, since I’m getting to be a little under the weather myself. Daniel Tiger’s mom says that “when you’re sick, rest is best — rest is best“. I don’t have as much animosity toward Daniel Tiger and his family as I used to, but I still bet they play it at Gitmo. Ah well, either way, it’s sound advice, and the Goose and I will take it.


What does the Goose say?



One of the fun things about our neighborhood is that there’s an ice cream truck! Have we ever purchased from said truck? No, but the Goose loves the music it plays, which is a continuous loop of the seminal Disney classic “It’s a Small World“. No voices, just someone using two fingers on an old Casio keyboard. This song has become the Ice Cream Truck Song.

At dinner tonight, I decided to find a video of it on Youtube, so the Goose could hear it in a little more depth. And then we found this video, which I described as sounding a bit like a John Williams Indiana Jones chase. The Goose, completely indignant, furrowed her brows at me and said:

“No, Daddy, NOT John Williams! Ice Cream Truck!!”

All Pinwheels Great and Small


The Goose loves pinwheels, and has had several. The first was a present in her Easter basket, and another was a gift from a lady at a yard sale. The Goose was so fascinated with them that The Missus purchased several sturdy pinwheels for the yard.

So now that we no longer actually live with my parents, the Goose’s grandma has been kind enough to watch the Goose three days a week since The Missus is now working full-time again.

Which reminds me! I haven’t given any recent additions to the Goose to English dictionary! There aren’t a huge number of new entries, simply because the Goose is now two and a half, and her language skills are improving incredibly every day. There are still fun things:

Settygetty = Spaghetti

Srack = Snack

But now she interprets as well!

Goosie, what does Mommy say? I love you!
Goosie, what does Daddy say? Blah blah blah!*
Goosie, what does Grandma say? A sweet pea!
Goosie, what does Grandpa say? Sank you!
Goosie, what does Nana say? Right on! [insert thumbs-up]
Goosie, what does cousin Ariel say? Yeah buddy!
Goosie, what does Miss Jennifer say? Psssspsssspssss

*This, by the way, is how I know she gets me.

But back to all pinwheels great and small. When I take the Goose to visit Grandma, we drive past a large wind generator like this:




And one day, the Goose yelled, “Look, Daddy! A big pinwheel!” So ever since, this generator has become The Big Pinwheel, and the road it’s on has been renamed Big Pinwheel Road. And most days, it turns.

About a week or two ago, though, we noticed that The Big Pinwheel wasn’t turning one morning. The Goose said, “Daddy, fix Big Pinwheel!” I can evidently fix anything. I told her that I couldn’t do it, but perhaps “the guys” would be out later to fix it and have it running by the time we came home. “Guys fix it?” Ah, great. Who are these guys? “Yes, Goosie, the guys will hopefully have it running this evening.” We came back by that evening, and thank goodness, there was enough of a breeze to have it turning.

A couple days ago, it wasn’t turning again. I’d tried several times to tell the Goose about how “the guys” didn’t actually need to come fix it, that it just needed wind, but “the guys” are burned indelibly in her mind as those who fix. In fact, they’re supposed to fix our kitchen table too. So off we went, hoping it would be running in the evening. On this occasion, it wasn’t. The Goose was disappointed.

So somehow or another, the idea popped into my head that we should ask Jesus to fix The Big Pinwheel. So I ask the Goose if she wants to pray with me about that. “Okay,” she says. Like, no big deal. So I pray, as most parents I imagine pray with their children, in the over-exaggerated prayer voice, “Dear Jesus, please fix The Big Pinwheel and make it turn! In Jesus’ name, AYY-MENNN!!” You know what I’m talking about, parents.

And then

very slowly




It was turning fast enough that the Goose noticed. “Goosie,” I said, barely able to contain my excitement, “what did Jesus do?”

“Fix a Big Pinwheel!!”

And so He did.

And you know what? It gave me an opening that I hadn’t realized I’d had before to start telling the Goose who Jesus is. Jesus made the trees, the rocks, the grass, and the Goose, and He loves the Goose so much that He fixed The Big Pinwheel for her. I haven’t gotten into all the other things He fixed, like the theological things, but for the moment, it’s enough that the Goose knows that Jesus loves her enough to fix her favorite Big Pinwheel. Oh, and he made the trees, too.