More Effective Than Alarm Clocks

Based on a True Story

Today, the House of Goose had a rough morning. Last night, the Goose decided to come down with a cold and hit the sack early. The Missus had an appointment this morning that would allow her to sleep in by an hour, and we went to bed early enough that we would have actually gotten the recommended-but-never-realized eight full hours of sleep. At five in the morning, however, I thought the alarm clock was going off all over the house all at once. Did I say alarm clock? I think I meant screaming banshee from Hell’s Maw. 

It was a smoke detector!! 

All the smoke detectors in our home are linked, so if one goes off, they all start going off sequentially. Oddly enough, they’re each about half a tone off from each other. I’m pretty sure they use mixed off-tones and volumes like that at Gitmo.

“Geez, Dave,” you might say, “did you just link to torture methods at Guantanamo? This blog is getting dark.”

Well, gentle reader, it is what it is. And this particular smoke detector was, as the above picture suggests, in the Goose’s room. Image based on a true story!

At least it isn’t Van Halen played by Darth Vader in 1955.

The Goose was screaming about how the noise was hurting her, and m head was right in it trying to get the blankety-blank smoke detector off the ceiling, which requires two hands and no ability to cover one’s ears. The Missus took the Goose to our bed, and there she waited until Daddy got the razzafrazzin’ smoke detector to hush. I put in a new battery, and blew out dust with compressed air, and reset the thing, and it still went off every couple minutes even though it wasn’t plugged in. 

Le sigh.

So instead of working, I’m home today with the Goose while she gets her rest, and maybe I’ll get some too, since I’m getting to be a little under the weather myself. Daniel Tiger’s mom says that “when you’re sick, rest is best — rest is best“. I don’t have as much animosity toward Daniel Tiger and his family as I used to, but I still bet they play it at Gitmo. Ah well, either way, it’s sound advice, and the Goose and I will take it.


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