Life continues to change, continues to grow. And so does our family.
Several months ago, the Missus and I found out that I’m going to need to change the name of the blog to Keeping Up with the Geese, or Goose and Squirrel, or something to that effect. That’s right, the Missus is with child, or expecting, or pregnant, or whatever direct/indirect description you want to use. Keep it PG in the comments, though. Good grief, people. And don’t say “preggers”. The Missus will find you, and she will kill you.
To say I’m excited is an understatement — and also and understatement to say that I’m horrified. It’s not like we weren’t planning, but holy cow — it’s actually HAPPENING. And it’s happening SOON. Like, OCTOBER. Or maybe SEPTEMBER.
Here’s the thing — we’ve known since January, and we ended up going public sometime in April, I think. I forget the exact date. I was going to get on here and make a huge announcement, but life was happening, I hadn’t been on here in months, and I figured both of you readers already knew. That said, I’m going to consider this to be the huge belated announcement I’ve meant to get to for a while. HUZZAH THE MISSUS IS PREGNANT!!!
So while being a parent is quite possibly the best part of my life, it’s also quite possibly the hardest. The Goose is growing and growing and growing, and not just in size, but in ability, humor, attitude, drama, and joy. It’s amazing how someone who was once just a little lump of potential can start filling out that potential! She has the most infectious laugh, the most beautiful smile, and can go from peace time to full out nuclear assault faster than I can keep up. I’m still trying to keep up with the Goose, and I always will be.
So I said I’m horrified, and maybe even beyond horrified. Some of that is hyperbole, of course — I mean, good Lord, we’re having another daughter. The Missus recently shared a quote she’d read with me, and while I have to do a little editing (for the sake of propriety) and I can’t tell you who said it, the general idea is that boys are a b**** to potty train, and girls are a b**** for the rest of their lives. We have enough drama with one, how are we going to handle two nuclear assaults at once???
I’m still excited. I’m just not completely sure how I’m going to keep my sanity. Parents have told me that once you have two kids, each one after that is just adding another number to the total, but going from one to two is complete anarchy.
Anarchy + nuclear warfare = ????
And some of my fears aren’t hyperbole. I’ve mentioned before that I get stressed out easily and think that the sky is falling, and to be honest, I’m no less Chicken Little now than I was a year and a half ago. Most days aren’t terrible, but when I let myself slow down enough to realize that things have been piling up, I get FREAKED. Examples:
- We don’t yet have the baby room set up.
- We don’t have a middle name for the baby.
- I’m still building up a caseload of clients at work and so my paycheck is a little more random than usual.
- We have a BABY COMING. Will she be early like the Goose? God help us!
- Why do Fourth of July fireworks last for two months?? Don’t those @#$!##$ jerks know we have a three-year-old??
- When on earth are we going to have time to go house-hunting?
- WHAT ARE WE HAVING FOR DINNER?????
The Missus shared a blog post with me today (not her own) about Satan stealing motherhood from mothers. I read it and realized that it’s not just for every mother, it’s for everyone. Satan steals and steals and steals, and tries to corrupt what is good, and it’s time to reclaim what God has given us.
- The baby room isn’t set up yet, but we have a baby.
- God knows the baby’s middle name, and beyond that, knows her true name.
- Despite my caseload instability (which is improving), God has blessed us with food on the table every meal, and a roof over our heads without missing one rent payment.
- If the baby comes early, God will make a way for us to get through, just like He did before.
- My sister-in-law recommended a noise machine that she said took care of my nephews when fireworks were loud. (Anyone have any experience with the Marpac Dohm? It has some pretty great reviews!!)
- This house will do until we can find something we can own. Patience, grasshopper.
- Well, what ARE we having for dinner?
It’s easy to get caught in the trap that my life is my own possession. That’s not ever been true, but I should have been aware of the fact back when I got married and had to readjust my life. Heck, I should have been aware when I gave my life to Jesus back so many years ago. I gave it to Him completely, lock stock and barrel, and about every ten minutes since then I try to amend the contract so He has ownership but I have complete control. And now that I’m married and have children, my life is SO not my own. Sometimes I resent that. Sometimes I just try to roll with it. And sometimes I recognize that I have an awesome and sacred responsibility to give my life to Jesus constantly and consistently, and an equally awesome and sacred responsibility to share that life and all that it is with my family. I love them all so much, and I let exhaustion and fear and busy-ness get in the way.
And there I go again getting anxious. It’s going to be okay. For me, God knows I screw up and that I won’t stop screwing up until I see Him face-to-face, and He loves and blesses me anyway. For you, God knows the same thing. And it’s going to be okay. For one day, we will see Him face-to-face, and it won’t matter if you got the job, or if I got the house, or if the baby comes early, or if the kids get home on time, or if they pass their classes, or anything else.
Be at peace. Easier said than done, I know.